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Yes! But it is hard work. Professionals like to call the emotional component of family businesses the “soft side.” Believe me: there is nothing soft about the emotional intensity of being a family member in a family owned business. And there is nothing soft about disagreements between family members. Family members’ habitual, ineffective behaviors towards [...]
I was talking with a colleague today about the unique qualities of family businesses. Naturally, we went right to the difficulties family businesses face and the stories that go along with them. We spent a lot of time talking about the bad and the ugly, but we did not talk about the good. Professional Advisors [...]
Thank you to those of you who responded to my request for issues that you felt families were wrestling with in the context of their family businesses. The results were a surprising on two counts: First, many more people responded than I would have anticipated; and secondly, there were no major themes. Succession came up, [...]
Family Business Litigation is a nightmare. It is emotionally exhausting for everybody. Nobody enjoys it, not even the lawyers! The litigation can be initiated quickly or it can gain momentum over time. And it can start innocently. A family member who is unhappy with his or her family business situation may decide to speak to [...]
Yes. The economic downturn stung family businesses as much as any other business. As a result, family businesses had to become a lot more diligent, not only in hiring and firing advisors, but also in weighing the level of expense against the value proposition. I have shifted the emphasis of my practice to project based [...]
Everybody knows the answer to that question, but we are not allowed to talk about it. Who are you going to go to confide in? Who can you trust, and who will be willing to listen to such personal topics and issues? And yet, even though we don’t talk about it—certainly not with our employees—everybody [...]
During the last 30 years of consulting to family businesses, my clients have come up with a variety of nicknames for me; but mostly they call me “The Shrink.” I wear the name proudly. By referring to me as such, they are telling me that they are aware of my training as a psychologist; and [...]
Thomas D. Davidow is the founder and principal of Thomas D. Davidow & Associates. Dr. Davidow has more than 30 years of experience working with hundreds of national and international family controlled enterprises. He has worked with businesses in diverse fields including retail, distribution, manufacturing, real estate, construction and more. Among his many accomplishments, Tom [...]
Yes! But you need to do two things: The first is to create an estate plan. Not having one leads to probate court which not only takes forever to settle; the chances are slim that it will settle reasonably. The lack of an estate plan also promotes family chaos. The family will have to guess [...]
Ask. I know that sounds simple and too obvious, but I ask my clients all the time what they are thinking. You don’t need permission to engage in a dialogue that will ultimately serve their best interests. I never assume that my client has understood what I just said. Frequently, the content of my communication [...]
Ask Fredo from The Godfather series. I am kidding, but I am not kidding. Families, when they feel betrayed, terminate relationships. They stop talking to each other, or they talk to each other through lawyers. I totally agree with the idea that you should keep conflicts within the family and try to work it out [...]
Most people would answer, “Establish rapport.” They would be correct, but only partially so. The fuller answer is to have empathy, which is a couple of notches deeper than rapport and more impactful. Empathy is tricky. You cannot fake it. If you are thinking about how the relationship is developing versus listening carefully to the [...]
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